Monday was my grandma's funeral.
Below is the speech I wrote.
Let it be known, I have a huge fear of public speaking. But I knew if I didn’t make myself say something, I would regret it later on. I kept telling myself, You feel like you can't do this, but you’re gonna do it anyway... because that's the kind of strength she had.
I tried so hard to read it in front of the everyone, but my emotions kicked in, my heart started racing, and tears quickly filled my eyes. I had done alright up until this point. But it was clear that I was on the verge of doing the ugly cry.
Luckily, my knight-in-a- purple-tie, was there to save me.
Ryan got up on that stage with me, and started reading right where I had stopped.
This year, I wish our biggest worry was which candy to fill our bowl with for Halloween.
But instead life had other plans.
We had hoped that all of her battles would ultimately win the war. But it just didn't happen that way.
I was lucky enough to witness her courage, that will continue to inspire me, and help me through any struggles in my future.
Some might ask me "how?" - When this is the outcome. Well...
I have hope that there will someday be a cure.
And I have hope that each day my heart will hurt a little less, even though I know it will never fully heal.
I know that today is a brand new day, full of new adventures, and a life to be lived.
But I can't help and think about what she would be doing right now, or what I'll see today that will remind me of her.
And most of all, how sad I'll be when I can't call her and tell her about it.
Still life goes on.
And there will be days where I wish I was able to hug her tight, or see her smile.
And there will be summers where we go camping and I'll be thinking about all the great memories we made at Jellystone Park, or when we ate egg sandwiches in the woods.
But the truth is, she always be in my heart, she'll always be with me.
My only regret is being on a diet the last time she made her amazing peanut butter fudge.
One of the many great things about my Grandma was you never knew what she was gonna say.
[One-of-a-kind doesn't really begin to cover it.]
My Grandma has been making me laugh my entire life.
She was my own personal Lucille Ball.
I Love Lucy was our "thing".
I've always loved the 1940's and 50's. I will really miss listening to her stories.
That's something that is really hard about losing someone. You also lose their memories, their information, that part of history.
What I know for sure is;
She loved God, her family, her friends, and her church.
And that she had a great sense of humor, no matter how hard life got.
There is no doubt in my mind I will think about our memories, and smile no matter where I am, or what I'm doing.
She often said things like: "Bless your heart." and "E-gads".
And would listen to Alan Jackson on constant repeat in her car.
I'll miss her creative energy, and the funny stories about her trips to the casino.
She was a loving, comforting, cookie baking pro, who was kind hearted, hilarious, and my biggest cheerleader.
Everything a grandma should be and more.
I will leave you with my favorite Winnie the Pooh quote, that reminds me so much of her, and pretty much sums everything up.
"If ever there comes a day when we can’t be together… there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.”
To everyone who said nice things, prayed for our family, sent flowers, sent cards, brought food
I can’t explain how blessed we feel that others understand how special my grandma really was. She will be missed by so many, and we can’t thank you enough for your thoughtfulness. <3